You can marry for love or money, BUT NEVER BOTH.
Yet people will often say one thing, while doing the opposite, and often risk rationalising a bad decision that they know deep down inside will likely ruin their life!
Nowadays, the divorce rate is 41% in this country. And now for the bad news: it’s actually been decreasing… but only because a lot of young people have given up getting married, to begin with!
Forget the old cliché of the young girl with a sugar daddy. Rather, it seems an increasing number of men are also looking for sugar mamas.
Just consider what some contemporary female celebrities have in common: Anne Hathaway, Britney Spears, Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Lopez, and Katy Perry. (Answer: they all had engagements or marriages that were measured in minutes, and ended in dollar hunts.)
This cultural shift is the perfect marriage (ha!) between advancement and opportunity… (read: opportunism). A few decades ago, there were relatively fewer wealthy single women for mercenary bachelors to target. But now, single millennial-aged women living in some large cities are likely to slightly out-earn their male counterparts; for instance, women aged 25 to 35 in New York City earn marginally more than their male peers, on average.
Of course no one ever says they’re marrying someone for money… what they really mean is that they will divorce someone for it!
Money and lifestyle (as opposed to TRUE happiness) are chief among the concerns of modern day gold diggers of either gender. Until recently, women alone were primarily (and unfairly) labelled as having ‘gold digging’ ambitions and strategies. But drastic changes in the economy, along with other significant social and cultural shifts, have encouraged men to openly embrace the dubious practice with equal resolve.
In this gruesome economic climate, people are working whatever schemes they can to ascend the exclusive ranks of high society, the least harmful of which, it appears, involves professing love in exchange for money. The world has entered something akin to an economic Dark Age, in which seemingly all efforts to become prosperous the old-fashioned way through hard work and ingenuity seem futile to many, and are even impugned.
Yet some who enjoy superficial promiscuous relationships seem to wish to settle down for good… preferably with a mate who can afford to support them lavishly for the rest of their lives. So much for active financial planning, as taught here (e.g. actively pursuing a massive fortune at the altar) and anything other than short-term thinking.
These are a group of people who, at some level, seem to believe that they are better than other people, and that their own happiness and wellbeing take precedence over the needs of others. (Hint: seek someone who also values your wellbeing! And do unto others.)
The trend is compounded as society continues to cultivate (or actually glorify) casual attitudes about being divorced… even multiple times. “Divorced again… no big deal, right? Everyone else does it!”
Online behaviour is also distorting normal human tendencies (more here), such as a shift from seeking romance to seeking remittance, as well as making certain major acts too easy (such as getting together, or breaking up). Furthermore, there exist websites for the sole purpose of finding rich “benefactors” or even to promote outright adultery, whether for “fun” or profit, or both. Some of these websites claim members in the millions…!
If you need money to get someone’s attention… then that person is NOT “The One”.
There is no such thing as any new form of modern love.
Hollywood and the mass media won’t show you the devastation visited upon ordinary people whose lives are crushed, financially and emotionally, by choosing a “lifetime” partner with temporary intentions.
So again, listen very carefully to your inner voice.
And find a nobler goal.
Dr Paul 🙂